I think Varric telling Cassandra his accounts of everything Hawke did in Kirkwall was half wasting her time and half trying to passively explain to Cassandra why making Hawke Inquisitor is the worst idea imaginable.
Alistair
[Wedding]
Priest: They’ve written their vows.HoF: *recites beautiful vows*
Alistair: *takes out notecard* I love you and cheese the same amount.
Zevran
Zevran: My partner messaged me to say they’re excited to have barbecue ribs with me tonight, so I made sure to compliment their sexting skills.
Morrigan
Child: *crying because it isn’t her turn with the tiara*
Morrigan: ‘Tis important to share, girl.
HoF: You’re 35. Give her the tiara.
Leliana
Leliana: I’m secretly investigating how many decorative pillows I can put around the house until my wife loses her shit. Current count: 23.
Anders
[RSVPing to party]
Hawke: *whispers into phone* Is it ok if I bring my weird roomate?
Anders: *from behind* STOP CALLING ME THAT!
Isabela
Hawke: I’m glad I got married. Everyone deserves a sidekick!
Isabela: Good point, Robin.
Merrill
Hawke: We need milk, eggs, and bread. Write it down.
Merril: No need. I’ll remember!
Hawke: [one hour later] What’d you get?
Merrill: A panda!
Sebastian
Hawke: Until I got married, I didn’t know it was possible to chew gum arrogantly.
Fenris
Fenris: We got invited to two parties this weekend.
Hawke: Wow. We finally have friends.
Fenris: We’re skipping both, right?
Hawke: Obviously.
Solas
Inquisitor: I’m still waiting for my husband to apologize for what he did in my dream last night.
Sera
Sera: *pulls back curtain while wife is in shower* Are we - stop screaming, its just me - Are we out of Cheetos?
Cullen
Cullen: [Leaving for work] *gives wife quick kiss* *spends 10 minutes saying bye to the dog*
Bull
Bull: You gonna drink that entire bottle of wine?
Inquisitor: You didn’t marry no quitter
Bull: *nods* My Queen.
Dorian
Inquisitor: I love you.
Dorian: You should. I’m a goddamn miracle.
Cassandra
Cassandra: *watches Inquisitor sleep* I just love him so much. He’s my everyth-
Inquisitor: *snores*
Cassandra: I CAN’T LIVE LIKE THIS.
Josephine
Josephine: *Runs back into house which is on fire*
Inquisitor: What are you doing?!
Josephine: I just wanted to straighten up a little before the firemen get here.
Blackwall
Inquisitor: My husband won’t let me pick up wood at Home Depot because he doesn’t want it scratched or bent, but I can take care of his children daily.
